He was a stranger at the gas station.
Why do people say things like that to people whom they do not know? He had no idea what I was feeling and what I am going through.
A few years ago I was driving back home from a visit with my dying grandmother. Coincidentally I was at a gas station. As I waited for my friend to come out of the bathroom a guy walked by, looked at me and said, "Oh, come on. It can't be that bad. Smile!"
Three areas of my life have drastically changed in the past couple months: relationships, home, work. On Saturday I thought that I saw the light. "Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright. Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces." Not so. Another problem--this one: enormous--more anxiety.
Frankly, sometimes it is that bad.
2 comments:
"Your beautiful, but you should smile more". Yes he was a stranger that realized you ARE beautiful and he must have also felt that you could use some uplifting words. I thank him for reminding you how beautiful you are. The other guy, "yes it was that bad" but again he felt compeled to try to make you smile. It's just human nature (for some) to try to make someone smile or happy if we see (feel) that they are hurting (sad). And according to your blog it seems the place to be for this is a GAS STATION. I must try this when I need some uplifting words.
Keep your head up sweetie. Lean on your friends, that is what friends are for. And please lean on your Dad & I we are always here for you.
Love you
The thing is: such comments are like another jab in the ribs. It screams, "Your life is not as bad as it COULD be." It invalidates my feelings. I invalidate them enough without the aid of another. I do not need anyone to do the work for me.
In addition, it only makes me feel more lonely. I do not appreciate the "just be happy" mentality, which is what I felt like these men were pushing.
Mom, do you remember Dad blasting Steppenwolf's "The Pusher" while we were driving to Laughlin? I do because I could not BELIEVE that he liked a song with "god damn" in it. I was reprimanded for saying, "Oh my god" when I was a kid.
Anyway, it is unfair to push a person to feel anything other than what he or she is feeling. I believe that trying to make a person feel better is sometimes counterproductive. Such was the case with these strangers.
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