Are we really to love who we are? What about self-exploration and renovation? I have been learning endless things about myself lately and was wondering tonight if I should venture to love who I am, nuts and all, or try to change the quirks and flaws.
I am a tempest of emotion, more so than ever. For a long time I have stuffed my feelings and only recently have I allowed them to blow and push me around. There is no need to contain them any longer, but sometimes I wonder if I am crazy and if there is any person in the world who would actually want to come home to me, this strange mess.
My therapist told me, "Maybe that is just who you are. Creative types feel many things at the same time. Someone will come into your life who will be able to love that too."
Is that so, or am I truly mad?
Change has been the theme for the past few months, but am I willing to change who I am? I suppose that I can love myself and seek to better who I am at the same time, but how do we find the balance? When is it going too far? Is it possible to allow the process to spin out of control? How can we tell if it does?
I suppose that in order to advance towards change, one must have an idea about who he/she wants to be, but that seems contrived. I like the idea of becoming rather than forcing change. Granted, there are situations, such as breaking additions and habits which call for immediate overhauls, but I am talking about character, about growing.
The evolution of the individual is a beautiful thing. Just look at Prince.
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