Pegleg Race

Sometimes I think about how curious it is that we can balance on our feet. Welcome to the esoteric abyss of my mind. It became even more apparent as the three of us walked the few blocks required to sober up our light-weight, yet bulky driver. 

Our feet are tiny, for crying out loud! Why then, do we laugh when adults fall? Adults should be falling all the time! Look at the size of those things! My feet are not much bigger than my hands and nobody is asking me to walk on my hands. Let's get real. Sit down. Ponder with me, won't you?

Babies fall, but when you think about it the size of their feet are a bit more proportional to body size. What kind of person laughs when a baby falls? Okay I do, but not in the same way that I would at a falling adult. Babies ought to be nationally-recognized walkers the moment they exit the womb! The wimps are getting off too easy, in my opinion. What do they know about tears? I would kill to go back to the days when my tears signified nothing more than hunger and fatigue.

I decided that as homo-sapiens we ought to be applauded, nay, awarded for accomplishing the great feat (no puns here) of walking upright more often than not. Certainly crawling would be a less risky way of travel. I tested my hypothesis on the concrete and was assured that it was a benign way to proceed forward (nevermind the fact that I was testing this hypothesis in the middle of the road at night). The distance between my skull and the ground was a little over a foot which would lead me to believe that I would not suffer from brain damage if I were to spontaneously collapse. 

However, we are a race of efficiency and dammit we have places to be. Crawling takes too much time. Let's all give ourselves a big round of applause for walking on pegs!