Love

I woke up earlier than I would have liked in order to pay the goddamn meter. It was a cloudy day, a gloomy way to begin a birthday and I wondered if I should take it as a sign. I crawled back into bed after satisfying Maya's hunger and re-awoke beneath sheer sheets, love, faux-wind, and thoughtful gifts. Vinyl Dylan, yoga, sage, a candle, a feather mask, and a ticket to the block party...he knows me...

K- treated me to a guilty, greasy, Americana vegan lunch. I can't remember the last time I had such delicious Macaroni and "cheese"...it's been so long and maybe if I were to have the real thing, the "Mac and Yease" would not measure up, but who the hell cares? It was gooey, baked, creamy, spicy, and I could have eaten it until my stomach exploded. However, I reminded myself that it was after all my birthday and therefore thought better of suicide-by-gorging. At the same time, wouldn't it be poetic if my birthday and deathday shared a date? Romantic even?

The day proceeded into one of even greater guilty pleasures as I walked to the theater, cancer between my fingers, bottled poison stuffed into my compact satchel. (2012 is approaching anyway, right?) And so, I used a free movie ticket, spent way too much on a "small" fountain drink (which is in truth large enough to hold the Euphrates) and basked in a cinematic soup of raunchy, inappropriate, sacrilegious content. It was a shitty movie, more or less, but it was a day for junk food of all sorts. I loved it and plan on watching it again. It will sit on my shelf right next to Superbad.

I came home to an empty apartment in which I reveled for several hours. My spree of indulgence continued and I spoiled myself... something I used to do fairly often in high-school, but less and less as I grow older. I'll spare you the details and have you know that all that matters is that I was alone (ALONE) and...it...was...divine...

...for a time...

The pleasure of solitude only lasts so long.

I love when he walks through the door.

He made me dinner and mixed me drinks, gave me kisses and hugs and adoration, but still, my favorite part of the day was when he came home. That moment, today and every day, was and is my favorite.